I am not sure how to begin this. I have meant to write for a while. But have been busy. Mostly because i am really getting experiments done now. About time since its my 5th year into my PhD. Long hours in the lab and the extra courses do stress me out a lot. But this post is something special. Its not about more than one degree. Its not about only me but about how i think i can say "us" now. Now when you love your thoughts and space it cant be an easy thing to accept but i think i finally can do it.Say us without flinching. And I actually feel nice about it. Like this is right. P has been amazingly patient with me even though i have nagged his head off at times. We both are quite different on some issues and it has taken us some time to understand what compromise is. Its been loads of fun figuring out what our quirky things are. Not to forget the brief appearance of the Ex who threatened to ruin it all, in perfect filmy style. All this, along with the amount of things we have been doing extra, gave us something to remember. P’s Blood pressure and i had something even more weird. To people that have had it before it draws an excruciating wince. Haemarrhoids or piles as we call it. My nightmare. Sans lovely cotton clothes and mom's home cooked food it deteriorated very fast. Surgery and steroids failed. Ultimately good old homeopathy and patient diet control helped.
P pushed me to exercise and i am glad he nagged me for a change. It helps and boy am i proud of my "runners quads". It wasnt easy to get myself to run 5 miles in an hour. Every moment I kept telling myself I had it in me to do it and when I finished, it was a unique sensation. Now i have a knee problem because I am knock kneed and P has supported me through this like every single other issue. What he has taught me is something nobody else can. To be strong and patient and give everything my best. And most importantly to have confidence in what I do. I admire his diligence in approaching his research and how he can show up in the lab at 7am on a Sunday morning. That is one thing I still need to get rid of – my laziness. I am working on it. I love how P is open and willing to try everything. I am spellbound at how quickly he has learnt the basics of Carnatic Music and truly appreciates the sheer brilliance of this artform, even picking out ragas like a pro. Again teaching me that if you put your heart and soul into something and you really want something to happen, it will. I am amazed at how this has changed me in the last couple of years. Hopefully for the good. One of the things that I hated was to fit into the usual desi stereotype here and I am glad P agrees with me. I love how he is the one person who will always smile when I pick out a new restaurant and not stick to the usual mundane ones. And now I simply have to give my love to my family- my lifeline and 7 other lovely hearts, 7 pairs of eyes and ears and 7 billion hugs that I always will have from the loveliest wingies – our very own spice gals. My best friends, lovely women who have understood me, accepted me and my tantrums and have stood by me every second. Women who are on the other end waiting to give me their encouragement and support always. Finally, all my friends at AZ that have made my stay here warm and colorful. And as I prepare myself for a roller coaster month ahead, I have to thank all of them for they have already told me I am going to have fun. I really think, toasts should be for family and friends rather than the couple. So here is mine, albeit virtual.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Monday, August 03, 2009
Who is forward really?
The pungent smell of fresh paint filled the room as Aparna dragged in yet another carton. Moving was something she hated. All that packing and unpacking. Reminding you of all the things you had collected over the years. Clothes that shrank thanks to the powerful driers, files, papers, books from the days she was still in School, the old broken Titan Raga watch that her parents gifted her when she turned 15 and a whole rack of CD's and cassettes she never touched thanks to her iPod. She ripped the tape apart and started sorting her things out. Until she touched the tassles that told her she had reached the photo albums at the bottom. Now that was always tricky. Thus far, she had never succeeded at not flipping through them. This time she didnt even stand a chance. She could hear the van pull away. Her husband would not be back with the next load for another hour and she promised herself one quick glance. Just a really quick one.....and then she would get back to work. The tassles flew as the cover was pushed back and thudded on her lap.She smiled at the long plaited hair with red ribbons and her school uniform. Shy and nervous, she was there holding the rolling shield for the state science quiz contest. She moved onto the photos with colorful clothes and her life from her college days. Friends, fun and loads of wonderful memories. Untamed brows, unmatched accessories, ill fitted jeans but nevertheless happy smiling skinny faces that filled up the 8inX6in slices of her past. But wait!not this one. Oh no not this one. This was different. For one thing it didnt have too many people. It had just two happy faces. And of course it weighed much more. Her fingers caressed the transparent covering.She smoothed it out even as her eyes reflected the transparency while she raced back into the past
..................................
Long walks along the sun kissed beaches, two wheeler rides on crowded city roads and biting into spicy raw mangoes sold by street vendors. Foolish promises and wild hopes. When love was innocent and surreal. Manoj was a simple hard working boy, so unlike the rest who owned bikes and expensive Raybans. She knew that it was forbidden territory. The line of social conformance drawn by her family did not allow her to take a plunge into this. But alas, thier love knew no conformance. Their love saw no reality. It was quite a thing - this love they had. And so this love sat with them through all their classes, tests and exams. A whirwind year later she was forced to think about her future.Just like several of her friends, she decided to send out her applications to universities outside India. The usual household arguements began. Her mother thought it was sacrilageous for a daughter to live out there in the wild wild west all by herself. Like every other Brahmin family, she had hoped to see her daughter married to a boy well settled in the United States. Although she stopped there, in her mind she added the letters A.S.A.P. Aparna remembered the exhausting conversations on one side with her parents and on the other with Manoj, who had suddenly seemed not as perfect and happy and strong as before. It was way too much that her twenty year old heart could handle. Manoj wasnt like her. No this had nothing to do with the fact that he wasnt a brahmin by birth. She knew that marrying outside her caste was frowned upon especially since the likes of her grandad considered themselves to be pure blooded. Manoj was like a muggle who would never be accepted as pure enough. But wait,he WAS different. He wasnt the voracious reader she was, waiting to unleash the new bundle of thoughts and words into the world. Conversations were not fresh anymore. They were stale and mechanical. Even the visit to his house felt different. Aparna loved his people and had a new respect for simple hard working people trying to break through the socio-economic barriers of the past. They were unprejudiced, down to earth and true to their hearts. Hearts she could hear and talk to, sans all the layers of fat from a proud brahmin's ghee filled diet. God!!!! what had she done??? Had she confused love with pity? Was she clinging just because she took pity on him? Had she ever loved him?He seemed so unsure about life, more than her. Scared to do new things. She played the arguements over and over again. About mini skirts and dancing with other men, about spending on books and hair cuts. The invisible wall was growing in height. Brick by brick until it had sealed them apart from each other. One day,as she sneaked into the seat next to him at the new movie theatre, she felt a strange sense of foreboding. It wasnt love it wasnt the serenity she always thought she would feel, it was just a sunken feeling. She had been accepted for graduate school and would soon move away. For a moment she thought it was possible. Just them. Just them, in a world of their own. Nobody would have to say anything about why he wasnt a pure blood. Her attempts to talk to her family had failed. The disbelief on her mother's face at a mere hint of a relationship had brought the house down. How could she look at someone like that? Wasnt she ashamed of herself??She tried to tell them that it didnt matter anymore. The tell-tale pony tailed pot bellied brahmin who performed the rituals at their home meant nothing to her. She was always amused by their lavishness and felt that a humble prayer and a genuine thanks would weigh equal in the eyes of God. However,she knew she didnt feel so strong about Manoj either. When all the euphoria would die down, she didnt think they would be able to hold on.Nothing needed to change said Manoj. The fool - she thought. How could she make him realise that they were walking away along two very different paths. Hers had ambition, hopes for a zealous adventure taking her all around the world and she needed someone who could keep up with her energy and pace.It was futile to push this along any further. No class had ever taught her how to do this. Nay my friend, lessons of the heart are learnt the hard way unlike lessons for the mind. She smelt his neck for the last time and felt his fingers caress her lips for the last time. Goodbye had never been this hard. Would this be different if he had been just like her - a pure blood???His words, she could never forget and she took them with her along with her 70 pound bags to a whole new world.
...................................................
There is something about skyscrapers, freeways and express check outs that make healing easier. Or was it just her???? Before she knew it, Filter coffee was substituted by Starbucks,Petrol became gas, Namaste became Hey and colorful salwars suits were replaced by a pair of Levis and a black top. Aparna soon dissolved into the setting and was lost in the humdrum of graduate school. All that was left was the ashes of a fiery love that seemed to have burnt itslef out very long ago. So long ago that she felt nothing. No more tear filled diary entries or lonely evenings on the patio. Just an emptiness which she tried to fill with her coursework. And just like the ashes, their hearts were colorless waiting to be painted once more into a whole new picture. His desperate phone calls amidst meetings,luncheons and assignments didnt help her get over her guilt. A guilt that had always been there with those words.
...............................................
She never knew that she could ever love again. But that changed when she had come to know this man who was now her husband. Smart, quick witted and very well read, he seemed to mirror her thoughts. Slowly but steadily, Vinay became the companion she had only fantasized about. Strong in his mind yet tender in his feelings. A young man waiting to gobble up every scene he saw and who always wanted more. A young man who shared her passion for books, music, travel and life!!!!A man who always pushed himself further to set new boundaries. Did it help to know that he had grown out of a similar experience? Sick as it may seem, but sometimes one does find solace in such discoveries of mutual adversities. And so after many a meeting, as they sipped their super sized whipped cream topped mochas, Aparna began talking about her strict training in classical music. He looked at her with that mischievous tinkle in his eyes and she paused. He started telling her about his own training on the violin and began laughing. This could mean only one thing. They were within the boundaries. They were both pure blooded. Oh how amused he seemed. He disliked the pomp and splendour at all the ceremonies he had been through and had never honored the sacred thread either.Sitting on the lake shore, they were quite a sight. Two young energetic people whose hearts resonated with the happiness of knowing that they had each other, no matter what. This was different. Indeed very different. This was a love that could intercalate within their lives, their dreams and their plans. This was a love that really was more giving than taking. It was mature. This was a love that they were so sure of. She shuddered as he bent down on his knees and popped the box open. Yessss!she cried. Yes, she would marry him. In the reddish pink twilight, two soft and thirsty lips came together sealing the moment forever .Yet, the guilt was always there. Gnawing at her. Reminding her of the same question. Was there ever going to be deliverance from this feeling????
..............................................
The pages kept flipping taking her to the wedding ceremony. Heavy gold brocade saris in bright colors. Aparna was amused by her elaborate head dress and expensive gold ornaments and Vinay's bare chested parade. Vinay wasnt proud of his part in the wedding and disliked the two day marathon of ceremonies. And he did not miss letting her family know.She remembered the shock on her mother's face when Vinay joked around that his sacred thread was once used to dry out his underwear. He refused to pay his respects to his uncle- the black sheep in the family. Her parents were not amused. As the final moment came to tie the three knots, the drumming grew louder. From far, Vinay looked intense trying to recite the hymns. Her mother came closer, to hold her daughter's long braid high up and help Vinay tie the sacred thread around Aparna's neck.She was completely taken aback when she realised he was just mumbling incoherent words. He really didnt seem to care and all the sacred chants didnt seem to mean anything to him. He looked up and grinned at her mother sheepishly. The irony hit both women on the pandal like never before. Aparna's own expression as she watched her mother's face, was a mixture of cynicism and pity . The music grew louder and even more unbearable reaching its cresecendo. Aparna could see the shock and turmoil in her mother's eyes. Her mother had always hoped for her son-in-law to abide by their rules and rituals but she had realised that the reality was far from that. She looked back at the couple even as she folded her palms praying to the Lord asking him why he had done this.Of what use were all those limits she had set? Of what use were all the rules she had laid? Why back then, had she stopped her daughter from looking further out? Oh how cruelly ironic it was.This was just too much for her ego to handle.
Aparna looked at the priest proudly pouring ghee into the fire,the stern looking men in dhotis wearing the carmine red line across their foreheads and then at Vinay who was hungry and exhausted waiting for the lovely lunch taunting them with its wafting aroma. It was raining yellow rice all over. Her grandfather had already started gloating about his pure blood son in law from abroad. She looked around and realised how many people in the wedding hall had no idea what or why they were doing these things but were just blind followers. It almost seemed that they were too weak to even question the relevance of these practices. She could just imagine what a struggle it would be for a muggle to fit in. Not someone like Manoj - a pure simple unprejudiced person. He would be ripped apart by these vultures. She suddenly realised that she hadnt snatched away his happiness. She had saved him from the wrath of this social evil. He was free. Really, HE was pure. Minus the clout and the look of mental descrimination that her grandfather cast on people. She had rescued him from everything. And this was her moment of deliverance from the guilt. Would anyone else ever understand what she felt? God knows no descrimination. God has no preferred worshipper. In His eyes every marriage would be held by the same pure unadulterated bond of love and trust; no matter between whom the feeling grows. If ever she had her own message in a bottle, these would be her lines.
.................................................
The honking brought her eyes back to focus on the carpeted floor. Aparna shut the album and ran out to the van. It was a beautiful sight. Their home. One amongst an entire row of identical houses in a new community. And she hoped that she would never have to move again. For reasons more than one.
..................................
Long walks along the sun kissed beaches, two wheeler rides on crowded city roads and biting into spicy raw mangoes sold by street vendors. Foolish promises and wild hopes. When love was innocent and surreal. Manoj was a simple hard working boy, so unlike the rest who owned bikes and expensive Raybans. She knew that it was forbidden territory. The line of social conformance drawn by her family did not allow her to take a plunge into this. But alas, thier love knew no conformance. Their love saw no reality. It was quite a thing - this love they had. And so this love sat with them through all their classes, tests and exams. A whirwind year later she was forced to think about her future.Just like several of her friends, she decided to send out her applications to universities outside India. The usual household arguements began. Her mother thought it was sacrilageous for a daughter to live out there in the wild wild west all by herself. Like every other Brahmin family, she had hoped to see her daughter married to a boy well settled in the United States. Although she stopped there, in her mind she added the letters A.S.A.P. Aparna remembered the exhausting conversations on one side with her parents and on the other with Manoj, who had suddenly seemed not as perfect and happy and strong as before. It was way too much that her twenty year old heart could handle. Manoj wasnt like her. No this had nothing to do with the fact that he wasnt a brahmin by birth. She knew that marrying outside her caste was frowned upon especially since the likes of her grandad considered themselves to be pure blooded. Manoj was like a muggle who would never be accepted as pure enough. But wait,he WAS different. He wasnt the voracious reader she was, waiting to unleash the new bundle of thoughts and words into the world. Conversations were not fresh anymore. They were stale and mechanical. Even the visit to his house felt different. Aparna loved his people and had a new respect for simple hard working people trying to break through the socio-economic barriers of the past. They were unprejudiced, down to earth and true to their hearts. Hearts she could hear and talk to, sans all the layers of fat from a proud brahmin's ghee filled diet. God!!!! what had she done??? Had she confused love with pity? Was she clinging just because she took pity on him? Had she ever loved him?He seemed so unsure about life, more than her. Scared to do new things. She played the arguements over and over again. About mini skirts and dancing with other men, about spending on books and hair cuts. The invisible wall was growing in height. Brick by brick until it had sealed them apart from each other. One day,as she sneaked into the seat next to him at the new movie theatre, she felt a strange sense of foreboding. It wasnt love it wasnt the serenity she always thought she would feel, it was just a sunken feeling. She had been accepted for graduate school and would soon move away. For a moment she thought it was possible. Just them. Just them, in a world of their own. Nobody would have to say anything about why he wasnt a pure blood. Her attempts to talk to her family had failed. The disbelief on her mother's face at a mere hint of a relationship had brought the house down. How could she look at someone like that? Wasnt she ashamed of herself??She tried to tell them that it didnt matter anymore. The tell-tale pony tailed pot bellied brahmin who performed the rituals at their home meant nothing to her. She was always amused by their lavishness and felt that a humble prayer and a genuine thanks would weigh equal in the eyes of God. However,she knew she didnt feel so strong about Manoj either. When all the euphoria would die down, she didnt think they would be able to hold on.Nothing needed to change said Manoj. The fool - she thought. How could she make him realise that they were walking away along two very different paths. Hers had ambition, hopes for a zealous adventure taking her all around the world and she needed someone who could keep up with her energy and pace.It was futile to push this along any further. No class had ever taught her how to do this. Nay my friend, lessons of the heart are learnt the hard way unlike lessons for the mind. She smelt his neck for the last time and felt his fingers caress her lips for the last time. Goodbye had never been this hard. Would this be different if he had been just like her - a pure blood???His words, she could never forget and she took them with her along with her 70 pound bags to a whole new world.
...................................................
There is something about skyscrapers, freeways and express check outs that make healing easier. Or was it just her???? Before she knew it, Filter coffee was substituted by Starbucks,Petrol became gas, Namaste became Hey and colorful salwars suits were replaced by a pair of Levis and a black top. Aparna soon dissolved into the setting and was lost in the humdrum of graduate school. All that was left was the ashes of a fiery love that seemed to have burnt itslef out very long ago. So long ago that she felt nothing. No more tear filled diary entries or lonely evenings on the patio. Just an emptiness which she tried to fill with her coursework. And just like the ashes, their hearts were colorless waiting to be painted once more into a whole new picture. His desperate phone calls amidst meetings,luncheons and assignments didnt help her get over her guilt. A guilt that had always been there with those words.
...............................................
She never knew that she could ever love again. But that changed when she had come to know this man who was now her husband. Smart, quick witted and very well read, he seemed to mirror her thoughts. Slowly but steadily, Vinay became the companion she had only fantasized about. Strong in his mind yet tender in his feelings. A young man waiting to gobble up every scene he saw and who always wanted more. A young man who shared her passion for books, music, travel and life!!!!A man who always pushed himself further to set new boundaries. Did it help to know that he had grown out of a similar experience? Sick as it may seem, but sometimes one does find solace in such discoveries of mutual adversities. And so after many a meeting, as they sipped their super sized whipped cream topped mochas, Aparna began talking about her strict training in classical music. He looked at her with that mischievous tinkle in his eyes and she paused. He started telling her about his own training on the violin and began laughing. This could mean only one thing. They were within the boundaries. They were both pure blooded. Oh how amused he seemed. He disliked the pomp and splendour at all the ceremonies he had been through and had never honored the sacred thread either.Sitting on the lake shore, they were quite a sight. Two young energetic people whose hearts resonated with the happiness of knowing that they had each other, no matter what. This was different. Indeed very different. This was a love that could intercalate within their lives, their dreams and their plans. This was a love that really was more giving than taking. It was mature. This was a love that they were so sure of. She shuddered as he bent down on his knees and popped the box open. Yessss!she cried. Yes, she would marry him. In the reddish pink twilight, two soft and thirsty lips came together sealing the moment forever .Yet, the guilt was always there. Gnawing at her. Reminding her of the same question. Was there ever going to be deliverance from this feeling????
..............................................
The pages kept flipping taking her to the wedding ceremony. Heavy gold brocade saris in bright colors. Aparna was amused by her elaborate head dress and expensive gold ornaments and Vinay's bare chested parade. Vinay wasnt proud of his part in the wedding and disliked the two day marathon of ceremonies. And he did not miss letting her family know.She remembered the shock on her mother's face when Vinay joked around that his sacred thread was once used to dry out his underwear. He refused to pay his respects to his uncle- the black sheep in the family. Her parents were not amused. As the final moment came to tie the three knots, the drumming grew louder. From far, Vinay looked intense trying to recite the hymns. Her mother came closer, to hold her daughter's long braid high up and help Vinay tie the sacred thread around Aparna's neck.She was completely taken aback when she realised he was just mumbling incoherent words. He really didnt seem to care and all the sacred chants didnt seem to mean anything to him. He looked up and grinned at her mother sheepishly. The irony hit both women on the pandal like never before. Aparna's own expression as she watched her mother's face, was a mixture of cynicism and pity . The music grew louder and even more unbearable reaching its cresecendo. Aparna could see the shock and turmoil in her mother's eyes. Her mother had always hoped for her son-in-law to abide by their rules and rituals but she had realised that the reality was far from that. She looked back at the couple even as she folded her palms praying to the Lord asking him why he had done this.Of what use were all those limits she had set? Of what use were all the rules she had laid? Why back then, had she stopped her daughter from looking further out? Oh how cruelly ironic it was.This was just too much for her ego to handle.
Aparna looked at the priest proudly pouring ghee into the fire,the stern looking men in dhotis wearing the carmine red line across their foreheads and then at Vinay who was hungry and exhausted waiting for the lovely lunch taunting them with its wafting aroma. It was raining yellow rice all over. Her grandfather had already started gloating about his pure blood son in law from abroad. She looked around and realised how many people in the wedding hall had no idea what or why they were doing these things but were just blind followers. It almost seemed that they were too weak to even question the relevance of these practices. She could just imagine what a struggle it would be for a muggle to fit in. Not someone like Manoj - a pure simple unprejudiced person. He would be ripped apart by these vultures. She suddenly realised that she hadnt snatched away his happiness. She had saved him from the wrath of this social evil. He was free. Really, HE was pure. Minus the clout and the look of mental descrimination that her grandfather cast on people. She had rescued him from everything. And this was her moment of deliverance from the guilt. Would anyone else ever understand what she felt? God knows no descrimination. God has no preferred worshipper. In His eyes every marriage would be held by the same pure unadulterated bond of love and trust; no matter between whom the feeling grows. If ever she had her own message in a bottle, these would be her lines.
.................................................
The honking brought her eyes back to focus on the carpeted floor. Aparna shut the album and ran out to the van. It was a beautiful sight. Their home. One amongst an entire row of identical houses in a new community. And she hoped that she would never have to move again. For reasons more than one.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Ladies Room!!!!!
There comes a time in every woman's life when you slowly start lowering your guard about things like makeup and skincare and everything you may consider really not worth your effort. My first serious thought about this came when i attended a conference a year after i started graduate school. i had no idea whatsoever about makeup and moreso an everyday use for cosmetics. Like every other indian girl i loved my eyeliner and kohl and stuck to it. i strongly believed everything else was unnecessary. But, for special occassions like weddings and receptions there is no way we can go without any makeup. A Nude look is NOT no makeup but it is makeup done smartly so as to appear as close to natural as possible. One reason why most indian girls are scared to venture is the sensitive skin we have. Home remedies and face packs are the best to keep skin healthy unless you have an extremely severe acne or skin problem that needs a dermatologist's attention. I agree but learning and being aaware of why this is done and not that is of great help when the day dawns when you finally need good makeup. Over the past few months i have reviewed material on the internet and have really loved reading makeup blogs by indian women. some of my favourites are - askamakeupguru, indianmakeupdiva,roopcafe,anindiansmakeupmusings. They are free and provide invaluable tips for makeup suited specifically for indian skin. My own experiments with makeup have taught me a few valuable lessons and i decided to share them like i did in my previous blog about fitness. I guess this is quite a bit of digression from what i have in my previous blog post but i really hope this helps women who are clueless about where to begin. Lets split up and talk about the Basics for the Face, eyes, lips and cheeks.
1. Face -
Most indians use a really horrible ghostly like foundation on theri skin thinking it will make them look fairer. Foundation MUST and ABSOLUTELY must match your skin tone. So look for shades that disappear when you streak it on your cheek just above your jaw and not on your hands or wrists. Brands like MAC, Bobbi Brown etc make good products. It is meant to even out skin tone but shouldnt feel like a layer of paint on your face. The next issue is if this photographs well since thats what we need for weddings and receptions. Unfortunately almost all foundations come with SPF in them. Even MAC had its foundation with SPF 30. All these have titanium dioxide that works great by reflecting off sunlight but look ghostly and a different shade in photographs. i have seen that in wedding photographs and even celebrity photos-a white layer on your face. For me, it got worse with time. The latest foundation from MAC is SPF 15 and the most natural. I however have a personal favourite from VASANTI COSMETICS which has no SPF. The company is run by 3 indian women and caters to colored women and indians because we have yellow undertones(warmer than the usual colors sold out here abroad) and makes foundations that do not have titanium dioxide. otherwise one can use MACs moisture cover concealer and set it with a powder. Again, choosing a concealer is tricky. Indians have really dark circles. To some extent, an orange-red based concealer does a great job of covering up. I need two different concealers for under eyes and spots.
2. Eyes -
The best feature for us. We have lovely big eyes and for most occassions our eye makeup is heavy. Askamakeupguru has a lovely video on asian wedding eyes. She uses a shimmery shadow on the lid and a Matte darker shade in the crease and blends it out to give an additional depth. Also, highlight on the browbone is important. Use a highlighter (benifit,lorac or eyeshadows that are very light and shimmery like MAC Ricepaper). For everything blending is really the key.
After that, apply liner and kohl and try to shade a little and smudge out in the bottom of your eye. Curl your lashes and use a good coat of mascara or experiment with False Lashes which are lovely, although i am yet to try this out.
Brows - need to be neatly shaped but need not be so paranoid about it that they are super scanty. A well placed arch really looks amazing but a lot of desis do the curve which is very weird looking. Kareena kapoor's look has thick eyebrows that arent perfect but still full and look good. Fill in with a dark brown but not black and use an angled MAC brush.Dont overfill brows.
3.Lips
Keep them moisturized always. Use a liner and then fill in the color and top off with gloss. Mostly i only wear gloss. And if your eyes are really heavy go with nude lips. Usually we must try and stick to one strong feature. Lot of brides wear strong eyes and bright red lips. For red lips the other features kind of fade in the background.
4.Cheeks
One of the other big big mistakes most desis make is to apply this big blob of "rouge" on to look like a clown. Golly, that is so weird looking. Blush should give you a slightly flushed look and is extremely light. Mostly its the color you would be if you were pinched on your cheek. I apply this pinkish color on the apple of my cheeks and blend towards the temple. A tiny tiny bit is all you need. The other option is to contour using a bronzer or darker shades of blush. They need to be applied below your cheek bones and blended for added depth. Also use the darker shade on your temples. Finally apply shimmer on the cheeks and a little bit on your chin and tip of your nose. Too much isnt good. You will sparkle like a christmas tree.
These are the basics for the good healthy look that will make you look fresh and bright. And if the colors are mostly nude it would be perfect for a natural daily work look. A little bit of concealer and liner plus kohl is all you need if you are in a hurry. Dont forget moisturizer for your face and lip gloss. And the more elaborate for special occassions. Sadly, very few people back home pay attention to all these factors. A lot of people start off looking good at their receptions but as the day wears on it cakes up and faces get too oily. Using a blotting paper is great and regular touch ups helps. FOllow these tips and experiment with various looks and learn how much is too much before really using makeup and you will find that you are a pretty good artist yourself!Good luck!
1. Face -
Most indians use a really horrible ghostly like foundation on theri skin thinking it will make them look fairer. Foundation MUST and ABSOLUTELY must match your skin tone. So look for shades that disappear when you streak it on your cheek just above your jaw and not on your hands or wrists. Brands like MAC, Bobbi Brown etc make good products. It is meant to even out skin tone but shouldnt feel like a layer of paint on your face. The next issue is if this photographs well since thats what we need for weddings and receptions. Unfortunately almost all foundations come with SPF in them. Even MAC had its foundation with SPF 30. All these have titanium dioxide that works great by reflecting off sunlight but look ghostly and a different shade in photographs. i have seen that in wedding photographs and even celebrity photos-a white layer on your face. For me, it got worse with time. The latest foundation from MAC is SPF 15 and the most natural. I however have a personal favourite from VASANTI COSMETICS which has no SPF. The company is run by 3 indian women and caters to colored women and indians because we have yellow undertones(warmer than the usual colors sold out here abroad) and makes foundations that do not have titanium dioxide. otherwise one can use MACs moisture cover concealer and set it with a powder. Again, choosing a concealer is tricky. Indians have really dark circles. To some extent, an orange-red based concealer does a great job of covering up. I need two different concealers for under eyes and spots.
2. Eyes -
The best feature for us. We have lovely big eyes and for most occassions our eye makeup is heavy. Askamakeupguru has a lovely video on asian wedding eyes. She uses a shimmery shadow on the lid and a Matte darker shade in the crease and blends it out to give an additional depth. Also, highlight on the browbone is important. Use a highlighter (benifit,lorac or eyeshadows that are very light and shimmery like MAC Ricepaper). For everything blending is really the key.
After that, apply liner and kohl and try to shade a little and smudge out in the bottom of your eye. Curl your lashes and use a good coat of mascara or experiment with False Lashes which are lovely, although i am yet to try this out.
Brows - need to be neatly shaped but need not be so paranoid about it that they are super scanty. A well placed arch really looks amazing but a lot of desis do the curve which is very weird looking. Kareena kapoor's look has thick eyebrows that arent perfect but still full and look good. Fill in with a dark brown but not black and use an angled MAC brush.Dont overfill brows.
3.Lips
Keep them moisturized always. Use a liner and then fill in the color and top off with gloss. Mostly i only wear gloss. And if your eyes are really heavy go with nude lips. Usually we must try and stick to one strong feature. Lot of brides wear strong eyes and bright red lips. For red lips the other features kind of fade in the background.
4.Cheeks
One of the other big big mistakes most desis make is to apply this big blob of "rouge" on to look like a clown. Golly, that is so weird looking. Blush should give you a slightly flushed look and is extremely light. Mostly its the color you would be if you were pinched on your cheek. I apply this pinkish color on the apple of my cheeks and blend towards the temple. A tiny tiny bit is all you need. The other option is to contour using a bronzer or darker shades of blush. They need to be applied below your cheek bones and blended for added depth. Also use the darker shade on your temples. Finally apply shimmer on the cheeks and a little bit on your chin and tip of your nose. Too much isnt good. You will sparkle like a christmas tree.
These are the basics for the good healthy look that will make you look fresh and bright. And if the colors are mostly nude it would be perfect for a natural daily work look. A little bit of concealer and liner plus kohl is all you need if you are in a hurry. Dont forget moisturizer for your face and lip gloss. And the more elaborate for special occassions. Sadly, very few people back home pay attention to all these factors. A lot of people start off looking good at their receptions but as the day wears on it cakes up and faces get too oily. Using a blotting paper is great and regular touch ups helps. FOllow these tips and experiment with various looks and learn how much is too much before really using makeup and you will find that you are a pretty good artist yourself!Good luck!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
The Ring.....
Almost a year later I begin to write again.
Today my pen beckons me like never before.
The ink flows, through my heart through many a vein
onto the blank piece of paper waiting to be soiled.
Write I will, but not about bleeding hearts
Or of sorrow, pain, suffering and rejection
These are the happy, smiling joyous parts
The reds, the pinks and the sunny yellows.
Is it the comfort of knowing that you are being loved
A hundrend more times than you can ever love back
Or is it the vivid image of the two faces that glowed
As they walked holding hands along the moonlit path.
Is it the passion of the first kiss and many more to come
Or the softness of pure and exquisite love that fills us
All the needless, wantless selfless emotion that makes me numb
And engulfs me like an ocean of sweat and pleasure
Today, I smile when I look at this tiny small cactus budding
Even the ugly thorns fit into the lovely warm creation of God.
I bend down and look at my hands and the priceless ring
Of love, of commitment and promise for a lifelong togetherness.
In simpler words,
I am engaged! Woo hoo!
Today my pen beckons me like never before.
The ink flows, through my heart through many a vein
onto the blank piece of paper waiting to be soiled.
Write I will, but not about bleeding hearts
Or of sorrow, pain, suffering and rejection
These are the happy, smiling joyous parts
The reds, the pinks and the sunny yellows.
Is it the comfort of knowing that you are being loved
A hundrend more times than you can ever love back
Or is it the vivid image of the two faces that glowed
As they walked holding hands along the moonlit path.
Is it the passion of the first kiss and many more to come
Or the softness of pure and exquisite love that fills us
All the needless, wantless selfless emotion that makes me numb
And engulfs me like an ocean of sweat and pleasure
Today, I smile when I look at this tiny small cactus budding
Even the ugly thorns fit into the lovely warm creation of God.
I bend down and look at my hands and the priceless ring
Of love, of commitment and promise for a lifelong togetherness.
In simpler words,
I am engaged! Woo hoo!
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