Stage Fear

Ok. I guess the first step in overcoming something is admitting there is a problem. I have a huge issue with stage fear. Total lack of confidence and cannot say anything once i see a room full of people. I have no idea why this happened to me. As a kid i loved being a part of competitions where i had to perform on stage. Suddenly when i turned 15 i remember this tension that started gripping me when i used to perform anything on stage. The worst was when i had to sing solo. I had always been with a group and when my teacher forced me to sing solo i apparently did really well but i was a mess inside.
A few years later i was trying to see if i could audition for Ragamalika in Pilani. The night before, all my friends encouraged me and said i was doing a real good job and stand a good chance but in front of the audience my voice shivered. I failed and my wingies begged me to try again but I never found courage to overcome this nervousness. 5 years later, my music teacher here taught me patiently and helped me perform on stage again. My heart was racing, I made mistakes and missed thaalam and embarassed myself totally. I deleted my recording. Everybody around my has this sympathetic face like - O poor you why do you have stage fear? My labmate looked at me and said none of your swara placements were wrong. There were people learning from cassette tapes and performing and you are being coached by a Guru so what is your problem? No idea!!!!
I chickened out the next year. However before i stopped, I had the good fortune of learning from Neyveli Sir for a few days. Yes, i couldnt open my mouth. I couldnt hit the G in varali which i can sing like a thousand times if i am alone.I remember him commenting about how I had to learn to be more confident on stage. How can i explain that practically nothing came out when i tried really hard to just forget everyone and sing? My mother and sister sing really well and both swear that i have to let go, stop feeling the pressure and just do it. It will get better.
I have no idea where i will find my confidence but after looking around at everyone i feel like i am struggling to break open. I need to start enjoying what i am doing more than worrying about the result. I am hoping to give this a second start, somehow overcome my fear and start learning and singing once again. My biggest problem has been that i totally lack confidence, I look around at all the other people my age that are so good and think what am I even trying to do here? P says that my standards are way too high and this is the worst ever attitude. I guess i should lose it. I am thinking of talking to people and seeing if i can learn from a good teacher online and try and perform this year at a local aradhana all by myself. Just a simple keerthanam but i dont want to be a sweaty quivering mess. Any suggestions?